By Rachel Geary
You enter a store to purchase a particular graphing calculator required by a teacher, and approach the sales associate who, instead of ringing up the calculator, offers you a plastic tomato and a can of orange paint. Would you say thank you, then purchase the items simply because they are offered by the person who works in the store? Probably not.
What if the sales associate then makes it clear you are wrong and silly, and tells you to ‘just take what’s offered’. Would you then purchase the offered tomato and paint? At this point there is a pretty good chance you would either ask to speak to someone else or leave the store altogether, determined to purchase the calculator elsewhere.
And so life goes, we seek help until it is found.
Sometimes.
You enter a store to purchase a particular graphing calculator required by a teacher, and approach the sales associate who, instead of ringing up the calculator, offers you a plastic tomato and a can of orange paint. Would you say thank you, then purchase the items simply because they are offered by the person who works in the store? Probably not.
What if the sales associate then makes it clear you are wrong and silly, and tells you to ‘just take what’s offered’. Would you then purchase the offered tomato and paint? At this point there is a pretty good chance you would either ask to speak to someone else or leave the store altogether, determined to purchase the calculator elsewhere.
And so life goes, we seek help until it is found.
Sometimes.
Sometimes we seek help, needing to better understand a process or asking for guidance through a difficult time and in response are offered a plastic tomato. Why? Regular, fallible, imperfect, breathtakingly obtuse human beings. And sometimes, when these people are in positions of great trust, we accept the offered tomato, and continue to struggle without further question.
Being here in Hawaii may have sounded like living a dream made tangible by acceptance to University. However, coming to the island and to college means experiencing new things, like roommates, or marriage, a new culture, or perhaps personal loss, or feelings of inadequacy or depression, all while isolated from your support system.
For these instances, and so many other points in our time here at Brigham Young University-Hawaii, we have help: a support system which offers individual, couple, and family counseling, support groups, stress reduction, and help in overcoming personal challenges. The counseling center, located across from the cafeteria, is staffed by educated professionals whose purpose is to assist struggling students and to ensure students and families receive what they need to resolve problems that impede personal growth and well being.
However, not every counselor is right for every person. Because of the relationship developed and the level of trust you give to the counselor, it is incredibly important to find the best advocate for your well-being. Each counselor on campus (and in the larger world) practices with a combination of education, experience, professionalism, and personal philosophy. There are counselors who will listen to the needs of the student and offer guidance and insights which can bring you closer to your goal within the counseling setting; working with you over time, celebrating successes and working through setbacks. There is also a counselor who may offer a different approach, a ‘tough love’, if you will. In this instance, the counselor may minimize the concerns of the individual and offer the advice to ‘get over yourself’. For some individuals this tough love practice is exactly what they need to hear for their current life’s situation. However, for others, this is a can of orange paint and a slap in the face.
What is important is to find your best advocate. Reach out to another counselor whose practices you respond to in a way that will effect positive change. Continue seeking help. Your concerns are real. When you reach out for help, you will find a support system on campus, and people who will work with you to bring about what you need for your long term well-being. Change in the situation or the stressors will not happen overnight, but working in tandem with a trusted counselor, change can come. Not every counselor is right for every person, but if you look you can find your advocate. Don’t settle for less than what you need for your personal and for your family’s well-being.
Being here in Hawaii may have sounded like living a dream made tangible by acceptance to University. However, coming to the island and to college means experiencing new things, like roommates, or marriage, a new culture, or perhaps personal loss, or feelings of inadequacy or depression, all while isolated from your support system.
For these instances, and so many other points in our time here at Brigham Young University-Hawaii, we have help: a support system which offers individual, couple, and family counseling, support groups, stress reduction, and help in overcoming personal challenges. The counseling center, located across from the cafeteria, is staffed by educated professionals whose purpose is to assist struggling students and to ensure students and families receive what they need to resolve problems that impede personal growth and well being.
However, not every counselor is right for every person. Because of the relationship developed and the level of trust you give to the counselor, it is incredibly important to find the best advocate for your well-being. Each counselor on campus (and in the larger world) practices with a combination of education, experience, professionalism, and personal philosophy. There are counselors who will listen to the needs of the student and offer guidance and insights which can bring you closer to your goal within the counseling setting; working with you over time, celebrating successes and working through setbacks. There is also a counselor who may offer a different approach, a ‘tough love’, if you will. In this instance, the counselor may minimize the concerns of the individual and offer the advice to ‘get over yourself’. For some individuals this tough love practice is exactly what they need to hear for their current life’s situation. However, for others, this is a can of orange paint and a slap in the face.
What is important is to find your best advocate. Reach out to another counselor whose practices you respond to in a way that will effect positive change. Continue seeking help. Your concerns are real. When you reach out for help, you will find a support system on campus, and people who will work with you to bring about what you need for your long term well-being. Change in the situation or the stressors will not happen overnight, but working in tandem with a trusted counselor, change can come. Not every counselor is right for every person, but if you look you can find your advocate. Don’t settle for less than what you need for your personal and for your family’s well-being.
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