Learning a new language is like jumping into a cold shower.
50% of the BYU-Hawaii student body are international students. Most of them did not grow up speaking English. They not only have to deal with all the challenges of normal college life—getting good grades, balancing schooling with work and a social life, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, and being active members of the Church—but they have to do it in English.
And that is really, really hard. All EIL students know how overwhelming it feels to be asked to read, and speak, and write in a second language every single day. Some feel embarrassed that no one ever understands what they say. Others feel frustrated that they never understand what anyone else is saying. Many go to bed at night wondering how they are ever going to survive here.
If you are one of these students, I am writing this for you.
My experience studying these two languages—and tutoring international students with English—has taught me a powerful lesson about how to learn a language. I have shared this lesson with every student who asks me how they can improve: learning a new language is just like jumping into a cold shower.
I learned this lesson last summer when I had the chance to visit Beijing. I stayed there for six weeks in a cozy little room with its very own bathroom. There was only one problem with it: my bathroom had no hot water. Every shower I took for 6 weeks was a cold one.
Have you ever taken an ice cold shower before? Did you like it? They are miserable. I remember I would get up each morning dreading the icy cold water. I every time I had to take a shower I would go and turn on the shower head and just sit there, testing the water a few times with my finger and just hoping that this time it would just be warm. It never was. And there I would stand, almost paralyzed, thinking about how much I hated cold showers, how uncomfortable the icy water would be, and worrying how I could clean myself when the water was so cold.
This was a waste of time. No amount of worrying, whining, or thinking about the water would make it warmer. And as long as I stood there worrying I never got any cleaner. If I wanted to be clean then I would just have to suck it up and jump in!
Learning a language is a lot like this. A new language learner surrounded by native speakers feels a lot like the man afraid to get into a cold shower. You are surrounded by people you cannot really understand and you are worried that if you try and talk to them you will sound silly or stupid. You usually don’t quite know the correct way to express your feelings and are afraid of being embarrassed in front of everyone. Instead of speaking in English to those around you, you let your worries and fears stop you from trying to talk with native speakers. You hope that someday in the future your English will be better and you will be able to speak it naturally, but until that day comes you will save yourself from embarrassment and hang out with friends from your home country instead.
Someone who does this is just like the man who does not want to get into the cold shower. He can think all day about how uncomfortable the cold is, but this will never make the water warmer. The only way for him to get clean is to decide to jump right into it. Likewise, new English learners can think all day about how uncomfortable and embarrassing it is to speak English with native speakers, but they will never get better that way. The only way to get better is to just jump in.
Have no illusions – you will make mistakes. Native speakers will not understand what you say. You will understand even less of what native speakers say in return. But you must try anyway.
This is how I have been able to study new languages without being discouraged. I say to myself in the beginning: “Tanner, you are going to sound silly. You are going to say everything wrong. But remember: that is how you will learn.” Because I have already accepted that I sound silly, I am not surprised or frustrated when people laugh at me or do not understand what I have said. For a beginning speaker, the most important goal is not saying everything perfectly. It is simply opening your mouth and speaking at all!
If you want your English to improve at BYU-Hawaii that is how you must think of it. Sit by Americans at the lunch table in the Caf. Talk to them in class and in the Aloha Center. Make a goal to have a real conversation in English with a stranger or a new friend every day. Just like a cold shower, doing this will be uncomfortable at first. But jumping into conversations that are hard and uncomfortable are the only way for you to really learn a new language.
Remember that. Learning a new language is a lot like taking a cold shower. You just have to jump in!