There is something about the honor code that has always irked me but I could never could quite put my finger on what it was. Last month I decided to write an article for The Student Voice on the topic and as I composed draft after draft I figured it out. Sure -booty shorts don’t make bad people, cheating is not the moral equivalent of wearing gym attire to lunch, and all the world knows that five o’clock shadow is God’s gift to women. These were all worthy complaints that crossed my mind, but at the end of the day, I may not find these rules logical, but I can live with them. I finally settled on this thought...
I was ranting at work one day (as I often am) and learned that my coworker has a good deal of experience working with students who have been in these shoes. That conversation was compelling, so I asked Michael for an interview. Believe it or not, the exchange below has been edited for brevity, but we’re still at 2700 words and I can’t bring myself to cut any more out--it’s just that good. So grab some popcorn, take a study break, bookmark this page for later, but make sure you read to the end. Michael Maile’s got some serious perspective on Honor Code violation.
L - Hi Michael. Thanks so much for meeting with me. How about we start with you telling us a little about yourself.
M - My name is Michael Maile. I’m a recent graduate from BYU--Hawaii in IT. I now work as a coordinator in the Student Leadership Activities and Service Department, and I serve as a second counselor in a bishopric of a ward on campus.
L - Can you explain how this connects you with the Honor Code since that’s what we’ll be talking about today?
M - I think, especially in my calling, I should be an example of The Honor Code, and that also gives me a responsibility of enforcing it.
L - So, to cut to the chase, there are students on campus who have violated their honor code agreement. If they have done so in a more serious way, such as a law of chastity, or word of wisdom violation--they now find themselves in a precarious situation because their education is so connected to this experience they’ve had. For them to come clean about this they may be risking suspension or expulsion from the school. So there is a lot at stake for students in this situation. With that in mind, do you feel like the Honor Code is hindering them from gaining experience with or understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ?
M - I do not believe it is a hindrance for them to be able to experience the Atonement. Part of the repentance process which allows us to accept the Atonement is making restitution. And if part of that means that we need to perhaps be sent home for a period of time and work through some things, and then come back, that should be an opportunity to come closer to the Savior through that challenging time. I think it can definitely be scary and I can imagine that students would be hesitant to come forward with the issues that they might be facing, but I do believe that the honor code is an opportunity to allow us to maintain our integrity as individuals so that in doing so we can get on that path to accepting the Atonement more fully, and if that means we have to go home to go through it, so be it. But the one thing that we should remember is that’s going to bring me closer to the Savior, because what I have done, that separated me just a little further. You know what I mean?
L- Yeah, so you’re saying part of coming clean can be scary, whether you’re risking expulsion or not. Everyone faces that to some degree when they repent.
M- Well, yeah! Absolutely.
L- So, you and I have spoken previously about being a part of church disciplinary councils. Can you tell us a little about what exactly that is, and your experiences working with students in this situation?
M - To speak carefully, frankly Lindsay, there are some transgressions, some sins that we cannot forgive ourselves of and that need to be worked out with the help of a priesthood leader. In such situations the individual will come and we’ll talk about the experience--whatever it was that happened--and they’ll talk us through it. Based upon that, the bishopric will counsel with each other, and definitely supplicate with the Lord, and figure out what would be the best, I wouldn’t say punishment, but consequence for this individual to help them through this.
L – What kinds of consequences are we talking here? When does a student cross the line of needing to be sent home?
M - That’s another thing. It really depends on what the bishopric has decided based on the Spirit. I cannot say that there’s just, like, a rubric that we go through.
L - Which is kind of comforting to me, personally. What factors would you use to determine? You say it’s different from person to person.
M - Absolutely. There are situations where, if we look at them from a worldly perspective, we'd bet we could guess what the outcome for that individual would be-- but you have to remember that these are real people and I think the Lord knows their situation better than we will ever, even if they lay it all out on the table for us. When we go by the Spirit and counsel with each other and find out what’s best for the individual, that’s where the outcome comes from.
L - So would you call it a spiritual experience--the disciplinary councils you’ve attended?
M - Oh, absolutely. One thing that I would point out is that I believe the consequence is also dependent upon the individual. It takes a lot of humility, meekness and courage to be able to go through this process, but if the person’s in the right attitude, and they are there, seeking the help that they need--and I think this really shows their integrity and their commitment to the Lord, because they are seeking the Lord’s help, right? But when they go through the process, whatever the outcome, you can always tell when the individual is really sincere. They want the help. They’re seeking it. And they know--ok, this is for me. And we just try to help them understand that we are doing our best, to help them do what the Lord would want them to do. And there are a lot of times I walk away from these counsels feeling rejuvenated, because you know the Spirit was there and you can definitely see the Atonement working in these kids’ lives.
L - So, have you had experiences where you can tell that it’s been a really good thing for the student involved as well?
M - Yeah! Yeah, again I don’t want to go into specifics. There are students who - the portion of the honor code that they’re breaking is just their unwillingness to do anything. They’re not going to church, they’re not holding their callings, things like that. They will not commit to anything when part of their ecclesiastical endorsement is to participate and be willing to do things and hold callings. There are individuals who are sent home because they don't care. In some cases their endorsements are pulled and they end up going home, but they grow exponentially at home and just in a very short period of time. It's almost like a wakeup call. It helps them realize--you have a wonderful opportunity to be here, but perhaps you aren’t ready, so go home and take care of it. -- And it’s amazing the growth that you see in these people. I think it is just that they need that help, that push so that they can realize--I know what I need to do now. I should mention also that our goal, if someone has to get sent home, our goal is to bring them back. Whatever we have to do to make it right so that you can come back and live up to that standard that they should have been living up to.
L – That sounds like a good system in theory, but do we know if students actually return? Does the system work?
M - In some situations, students may not return...because they'll end up going on a mission or doing other great things. In other situations we’ve seen individuals come back and it’s just like night and day.
L - Previously when I thought about getting sent home I thought of it as a kind of disowning. --We don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You bring shame to our institution-- or something, but more than any school I’ve ever attended, BYU--Hawaii is a family, it’s a community, and so I think it’s really beautiful to hear you talk about acting in the best interest of each student. From what you’re saying it sounds like it’s not so much about upholding the reputation of the school as it is about the progress and growth of the individual.
M - Absolutely. You can’t just throw a blanket statement over all the students. You have to look at them as individuals.
L - So, shifting gears here a little, it’s common knowledge that members of our faith struggle with pornography and masturbation. There are students on campus that are dealing with these issues. I think students aren’t really sure what will happen to them if they come and speak to their bishop, but I think also a lot of students feel really guilty about this. I know you are saying there isn’t a cut and dry formula, but if a student comes to their bishop and says, “I’m struggling with pornography,” are they going to get sent home? What’s going to happen?
M - I cannot say exactly, because just as I mentioned before, it really depends on the individual and their situation. However, there is a program that’s being formed on campus for individuals who are experiencing these kinds of struggles.
L - That’s fantastic!
M - Yeah, it is! It’s a newly formed Addiction Recovery Program being put together by the stake. Any student who has similar struggles or challenges should know this: they are not alone. Every single one of us faces temptations, addictions, and struggles of some kind. We are not alone in that, and there is definitely a way to overcome them!
L -So what about students who wouldn't consider themselves addicted? I've read the science behind the addiction of pornography, and it checks out. Pornography can be just as addictive as a drug, but there is a space between having a few experiences and becoming an addict of pornography. What would you say to students who fall short of the addiction category?
M - Whether it's an "addiction" or a temptation you face, there's help. Your bishop's primary concern is to help you, not to send home as many students as he can. When a student is sent home it's because the behavior is serious enough that some other pursuits need to stop so it can be addressed with the focus it deserves. Not all pornographic experiences will fall in that category.
L - Has there been anything about the process of working with these students that come to you in the bishopric or in disciplinary councils that has surprised you or was unexpected?
M - I think just how wonderful these students are. We as members can often be judgmental of people when they’re trying to be all, you know, what we label as Peter Priesthood or Molly Mormon, but when I see these students come in and they just pour out their hearts, it is amazing to me and remarkable to see just how much they are willing to grow and go through to be able to be better. I think it takes a lot of courage and that’s what’s just taken me back the most is to see how much these students love the Lord. To me it’s just amazing that they’re willing to come and seek help.
L- Ok. So my last question is this: What would you say to students who feel they can resolve their sins or concerns on their own, or those who are afraid to come forth with details, or they feel like it’s happened so long ago now that it doesn’t really matter anymore? What would your advice be?
M - Well, I would say that your bishop really has the authority and the keys to help you with any issues that you’re dealing with. Reality might be that there are issues that you could work through by yourself, but really your bishop’s there to support you and help you. And if that’s the way he feels then he’ll let you know. But if it’s something that’s more serious, he’s there to help you. In my experience, the bishop that I serve with loves the students, all he wants is for the students to be successful, be happy. He’s just there to help. He’s not out to send anyone home off the bat. He’s not out to get rid of all the kids who might be dealing with things. He’s there to help them in the best way possible and increase their faith and their spirituality.
L - I know in the past I’ve had bishops that I’ve gotten along with really well, I felt immediately like they loved me, I felt really comfortable with them. I’ve had other bishops that I felt like really didn’t understand me. So if someone is in a situation where they feel like their bishop really doesn’t understand them, what would your advice be to them about working through their issues?
M - I would say that in the Lord’s church we believe in organization. If that’s the ward unit that you fall in and that’s the kind of relationship that you have with the bishop I would urge them to pray, just to pray for the faith to know that this man has been called, and although the relationship might be kind of weird, he is a man of authority who can help them. And just to pray that they look beyond his personality and the things that may be uncomfortable, but look to him as the Spiritual leader that they need.
L - Anything else you’d like to say?
M - Yeah, I just hope that nobody gets the wrong idea from my comments, and that no one takes what I say as black and white. My biggest thing is that students should know that the Honor Code makes us better people. And as challenging and as silly as it might be sometimes, we’re on the Lord’s campus where our standards of living should be higher. We should be people of integrity and if we’re not those people then maybe we should rethink where we are. People feel entitled for some reason when they get here. They feel like--that’s stupid. I should be able to do what I want.- Unfortunately at a university like this where you agreed to live a certain way, you can’t always do what you want. And in the long run that’s ok because the honor code itself makes you a better person. Don’t look at it as hindering, look at it as enabling to live on a higher plane.